Home is where the heart is.....

Home is where the heart is, or so they say, but what do you do when your heart is spread between different places?

I asked myself this recently on a trip back to Massachusetts, our home for 12 years. As we flew over Cape Ann and Boston Harbor my heart swelled...we were going home. As is often the case for ex-pats you never think that the place where you have relocated will be home but somehow, over those 12 years,  Massachusetts & most particularly the North Shore, crept under our radar and here we were, longing for "home."

Fall colors in New England

What makes a "home"? Of course, our house was home because of my husband and two children but it took sometime for the area to feel like home. What made it home? Mostly the friends we made there, friends who, when you are far from home, become family, those people who are there for you in a crisis, big or small. But also the familiarity of a place, a comfort level....the stores and restaurants you know and like (Border Cafe...oh how I miss a good Mexican meal!), the haunts that please you and make you smile (Cranes Beach and Plum Island....and of course the fall colours!), the humor that you recognize and the laughter with like-minded people. On my visit to Massachusetts I reveled in the familiar sights, took pleasure in the laughter and time with friends, enjoying the collective memories that we share. Those afternoons catching up with friends,strolling on the beach or even the wandering around the mall  replenished my soul, although, in the case of the mall, emptied my wallet! .

Cranes Beach, Massachusetts

But then we are also British and my heart also lies in England, home of my birth. I am a Brit first (cut me in half and you will find the Union flag), American second and my family all reside in the UK so my heart is also at home there. I feel the joy when I drive through the English countryside; the rolling chalk hills of Wiltshire, the quaint Cotswold cottages and enjoy a "pint" of beer in the quintessential English pub. That I am able to go home so easily from the Netherlands is fantastic, and allows me that much needed time with family.

Castle Coombe, Wiltshire, UK

 I've not developed the feeling that I have planted a little piece of my heart in the Netherlands yet, but who knows? Given the fact that everything grows well here and the Dutch are the kings of cow-poop fertilizing I can't imagine that at sometime, some tiny heart tendrils won't push into the soil and take root, leaving me with yet another home, that holds a piece of me.

Having homes in different countries add a dilemma sometimes. I felt the British national pride during the Queens Jubilee celebrations and the Olympics, but was thrilled to be able to vote for President Obama as a new US citizen. Who to shout for in the World Cup? England, the USA or the Netherlands? Another circumstance from having homes in multiple places are the foods that you miss....the US trips home always supply me with huge bags of chocolate chips for cookies and the wish that Cape Cod chips travelled well! The UK...well, teabags of course and Marmite! When I leave the Netherlands eventually, I am sure I'll yearn for stroopwafels made by hand, from the guy at s'Hertogenbosch market and Dutch fries with mayo!

Being an ex-pat can be heartbreaking at times; missing family and old friends, saying goodbye to other international friends as they leave for new pastures, and leaving much loved pastures. However it can be rewarding, fulfilling and life-expanding too....and you may always find yourself leaving just a little piece of your heart behind.